Cubs Fan Scores Big When Governor Can’t Finish Ice Cream

A somewhat astonished Cubs fan was offered food by a passing stranger who turned out to be the nearly former governor of New Jersey. After having consumed a good portion of his 4th Super Sized Sundae, Christie decided it was time for some pizza instead. But rather than toss the mountain of ice cream remaining in his over-sized bowl, he offered what was left to a random fan by saying “You want some of this?”. The fan declined, however, and then ran up the stairs appearing to hold his stomach, and disappeared into the men’s room.

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Formerly Gay Man’s “Wife” Says Racism Is Totally Cool Now

Formerly Gay Man's Wife
In a monotonous uninspiring and nasally voice with a condescending tone, the wife of a formerly gay man who went through conversion therapy and is now totally not gay any more, said she thinks that too many people are “afraid of being called racists“. The bigoted homophobic and self-aggrandizing “woman” went on to add several more statements that we’re simply too ignorant to remember. Something about liberals and Jesus. Anyway, she’s a nasty cunt. So fuck her and her ignorant bullshit.

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Mueller Expanding Russia Collusion Probe To Include Trump Business Transactions

Former FBI Director Robert Mueller, who is leading the investigation into the Trump administration’s potential collusion with Russia during the 2016 Presidential Election, has announced that he will be expanding his prob to include potential violations of the law in Trump’s business dealing as well. This news comes on the heels of Trump’s direct threat against Mueller for doing that very thing only yesterday. Whether or not Mueller’s decision to expand the probe is response to Trump’s threat remains to be seen. However, there is no mistaking the timing.

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