Cubs Fan Scores Big When Governor Can’t Finish Ice Cream

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A somewhat astonished Cubs fan was offered food by a passing stranger who turned out to be the nearly former governor of New Jersey. After having consumed a good portion of his 4th Super Sized Sundae, Christie decided it was time for some pizza instead. But rather than toss the mountain of ice cream remaining in his over-sized bowl, he offered what was left to a random fan by saying “You want some of this?”. The fan declined, however, and then ran up the stairs appearing to hold his stomach, and disappeared into the men’s room.

This isn’t the first time the almost past-tense Governor has shown his philanthropic side. You might remember a few weeks ago when he showed how much he cares for his own family by closing all of New Jersey’s beaches to everyone but them. Truly an unmistakable gesture of caring. And who could forget how gracious he was towards impotent Donald Trump by allowing the alleged rapist to order the meat loaf at dinner. Considering Trump tends to be a belligerent ass whenever possible, Christie was truly a generous statesman.

#notevenhuman